Sunday, April 29, 2007
As it is Sunday, it's a good time for reflecting on Christian topics. The Pendragon would like to offer my readers a quick translation of what pastors really mean when they say stuff. They have a code too.
"I'm preaching on a topic most pastors aren't comfortable preaching on," means "I've preached on it before, and at least ten other pastors in this general area have preached on it, all saying the same thing: 'I'm preaching on a topic most pastors aren't comfortable preaching on.'"
"I was surprised to read...[insert Biblical background fact here]," means, "Any kid who's sat through Sunday School knows this and I learned it in seminary and used it last week as an example, but I'm hoping you won't notice I've recycled my messages."
"I read a story recently," means "Some weirdo I don't know forwarded this story to my mother-in-law and she shared it with me."
"I had a sermon all prepared but God is telling me to do something differently," means "Well, I had two choices and now I feel like this one."
"God is telling me there is someone here that needs salvation," means, "Come on, people, I'm dying up here"
Of course this is not an across-the-board dissection. Sometimes God may actually have told the Pastor to do something different, and there is almost always probably someone in need of salvation...the other three are pretty much always true. The Pendragon respects men of the cloth, but they are rapidly losing points for originality when it seems like they've all attended the same conferences. Not a plug for abandoning Christianity, but a plea for clergy to stop reading out of a book other than the Bible.
"I'm preaching on a topic most pastors aren't comfortable preaching on," means "I've preached on it before, and at least ten other pastors in this general area have preached on it, all saying the same thing: 'I'm preaching on a topic most pastors aren't comfortable preaching on.'"
"I was surprised to read...[insert Biblical background fact here]," means, "Any kid who's sat through Sunday School knows this and I learned it in seminary and used it last week as an example, but I'm hoping you won't notice I've recycled my messages."
"I read a story recently," means "Some weirdo I don't know forwarded this story to my mother-in-law and she shared it with me."
"I had a sermon all prepared but God is telling me to do something differently," means "Well, I had two choices and now I feel like this one."
"God is telling me there is someone here that needs salvation," means, "Come on, people, I'm dying up here"
Of course this is not an across-the-board dissection. Sometimes God may actually have told the Pastor to do something different, and there is almost always probably someone in need of salvation...the other three are pretty much always true. The Pendragon respects men of the cloth, but they are rapidly losing points for originality when it seems like they've all attended the same conferences. Not a plug for abandoning Christianity, but a plea for clergy to stop reading out of a book other than the Bible.
// posted by The Pendragon @ 11:01 AM 
